Year Review/blog/reflection…..the WHY. I was asleep at 9 last night, no revelry or partying, just glad to hit the sack for a good nights rest. I can honestly say 22′ was a year for the books in so many ways, some good, some bad, but it seemingly it is a blur as a type. We traveled so much, made so many new friends, had so many laughs and memories along the journeys. I have seen God work around our little NeedPrayer? Race team, doing what God does in peoples hearts. I have had SO many talks and prayers with racers and families this year, I have seen God soften hard hearts, seen God stir questions in others, drawing others to himself. I cannot believe God called me back to a ministry that I love, to a place where I served an idol before him, to a way that I can share of the One True God. I get to go make memories with my family, get to preach the gospel, get to give away free Bibles and see the smiles on kids faces. I get to pray with people who need to hear a word from God. I am blessed and undserving of of such grace from God.

I live my life on social media, my year could easily be reviewed by scrolling my timeline and forming your own opinion. What is so strange is the psychological complexity (sure someone has a name for me) that I am. I honestly don’t care what people think of me, I never did what would make people like me, but always what I wanted to do that made me happy. I have become an introvert as I have gotten older, and hermit may not be in the too distant future. My body from years of abuse is aging rapidly, I cannot believe how much I have declined in the last five years. The battles of anxiety and depression have gotten much worse the last year, and my pride keeps me fighting that war mentally and spiritually. My mind is the scariest of them all as I see both my parents disappearing before my very eyes and I feel the loose connections in my head’s wiring impossible to articulate. I am not going to do this getting old thing gracefully.

BUT GOD chose me, rescued me from damnation and died to save my very soul. He put something inside of me, a part of himself, and I cannot keep him to myself. The tug to share my faith is unstoppable, I honestly don’t care about so many other things in life that matter to so many of us, I want to point you to Jesus. The why of how I share on social mead it simply two fold. One, to share a Bible verse that I hope God will speak to you with, to encourage or convict you in some way to draw closer to him. Two, to share both my highs and lows of life, filtered through my faith, how I go to God for help through life, to build that relationship we were created by him to have. I still have daily struggles, doubt and fears just like you, BUT GOD gives me daily strength and encouragement to get through them. If it were not for my faith, I think my story would be much different.

I love busyness, fast paced crisis control, I work well under pressure. Sadly I believe that changed this year also, I think I found my limit when I surpassed it at some point these last couple of months. This year’s pace caught up with me, and I am exhausted mentally and physically. Raced 39 weekends / over 17,000 miles / 17 states and worked almost every Monday, it has been a seven day a week pace. But if the Lord calls me home today, the memories that I made with these two boys were worth every, single, sacrifice and penny I have. The Bible tells us “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, and not for men.” God knows I have given it my all.