Apprehended
Philippians 3:12-13 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
It might be easy at a quick glance of this scripture to see a pride welling up in Paul. But it is far from that; it is a humbling revelation of the desire to attain that which he cannot. Paul had spent the prior verses speaking of giving his life wholly to Christ; of seeking to emulate Christ in all of his life. Paul pressed into sainthood as deep as anyone could, yet he understood he could never attain that goal in this life. It will only be when Christ returns and sin is wiped from this world, that we live in perfect union and conformity with God. It is that eternal goal, or prize, that we live our Christian lives in pursuit of. Our lives are bound by our faith, and works that are a product of that faith, are the levels of reward we seek. There is no greater reward that to stand at Christ’s feet and hear, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:21)
You must understand that you didn’t “find” Christ. Christ sought you first, and you either responded to his invitation, or you denied him. 1 John 4:19 We love Him because He first loved us. There comes with this understanding of His pursuit of you, a change of heart. You may well up in joy and pride of the revelation of Salvation, but a deeper understanding is found when you realize that it was nothing of your doing, but simply a response to a heavenly call upon your life. This brings about a new level of thanksgiving, a deeper desire of grateful service, a longing to give up the things that matter no longer for the eternal pursuit of what does. A heart that realizes that you are a chosen child of God, is a heart that desires to become a disciple of Christ in the pursuit of living their lives for him. Those things that mattered before, now seem worthless.
How much is Christ stirring in your soul today? Are you claiming to know Him, yet not living your life for Him? He gave his life up for you; is it not too much to ask for you to do the same for him? This world will distract you every day in every way from growing closer to Christ. This world is not living for Christ, so are you living for the world, or for him? If you will spend some time in alone with God in genuine, humble prayer; He will likely reveal himself to you and open your eyes through your heart. When he does, you either grow closer to him than ever before, or you run away. Pray and let Christ apprehend your life like he did Paul’s, and live your life in pursuit of him.