1 Corinthians 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
I have never been a “go to the doctor” guy, only to the ER for emergencies, and I have had my share of them through the years. I am against the societal problem we have of prescription drugs on so many levels, from the corruption of big-pharma in the power struggle of societal control, to the intimacy of individuals struggling on every level as their pawns. I have not had a physical for well over 10 years for those reasons, and even a few others, but something has changed the last couple of years. At 55 I decided to improve what I could control, my diet, and made steps doing so. I went a year with no soft drinks, eating a little better and definitely less, and dropped over 20 lbs and I feel much better. I am continuing the pursuit of my physical improvement in more ways this year, that is a journey that requires determination and will power to do so. God wired me that way, once I put my mind to it, Lord willing, I will accomplish it. There is also a big pride struggle wrapped up into that, but God is also keeping me humble in the realization that I cannot beat father time, my body ain’t what it used to be. I have worked hard and played hard all my life, and I am feeling those pains much more since hitting 50. I have said the thirties and forties did not get me, but fifty kicked me in the teeth.
The real struggle is that I can’t seem to fix my mental health, the struggles with anxiety and depression. I have always been open with them, I have nothing to hide and am not ashamed of it. I love how God has placed those in my path for great conversations. They have both gotten much worse the last couple of years, and I could write a book on that roller-coaster of emotions that come with them, they both make life hard to do when they get as bad as they have been. The red flag for me was when I began to not like doing the things I relax doing, the ways I escaped life’s struggles became struggles. I love working on bikes, shop time, riding, racing, everything with my boys. They became struggles, frustrations at the simplest things, outbursts, withdrawals, there became no way of escaping, and that became scary once I realized it. There are many dark roads Satan will take you down when depressions cloud becomes darker, and the evil thoughts go deeper. It scared me when I traveled those roads and I knew I had to swallow my pride and go seek help.
In a God orchestrated conversation, a great friend recommended his doctor, a man of faith that God gave me to talk to. We spent more time talking about our faith, than we did about me. I share all of the above with him, and told him how I had fought it with my faith, and time in prayer and God’s Word. He applauded that type of faith, and encouraged me that God used his gifts and today’s medicine to help me. Did you know Luke was a doctor, (Colossians 4:14 Luke the beloved physician, …) and he wrote two books in the Bible, the Gospel of Luke, and the account of the church’s growth in the book of Acts. He completely understood my stance, and we agreed on a low dose to take the edge off. I have since went back and we upped it for six months for me to evaluate. I can honestly say I feel better, and I already see God placing friends in my path to encourage them do likewise, to swallow their pride and seek help too.
God does not look down on you for seeking help in any way, period. God works in so many ways to draw us closer to him, so many ways that we don’t understand, Isaiah 55:8-9. Satan may come to God and desire permission for some evil to us, and God may permit it because he sees the good in the outcome, many times drawing us closer to him as a result of our enemies troubles upon us. Romans 8:28. God does not like our pride, and I am a prideful man that he must continue to work on keeping me humble in so many ways. My physical testimony and my mental testimony are both works of a loving God on a guy who desires him to not give up on me, and to hear those words, “Well done good and faithful servant.” I want to finish strong, to be focused on sharing my faith to all God places in my path that he has prepared to hear. I do not want my personal struggles to keep me withdrawn, and all alone to not good. I thank God for dealing me another pride blow of his hammer on this hard headed guy, not moldable like clay, but hard as stone. If God is working on your pride too, trying to make you realize you need help, pray first, and then seek a doctors help also. I did, and I thank God for it.
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