Broken but Bestowed

Psalm 51:10-13 Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. 13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners shall be converted to You.

I love how God works; I don’t understand it, sometimes struggle with his higher ways than mine, but even in the struggles he will open your mind to truths, well, when it is the best time I guess. It is rarely when we think we are ready for it, typically not how we expect it, and likely something inside of us is “wowed” by it. How could we call him our God, if we were on any scale able to figure him out? So many times even in our struggles, on a struggle of small or incredible scale, God is behind the scenes working it for his good. Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. The little bit of understanding you have been granted of that passage, speaks to your faith in God’s sovereignty, of his control over the details of your life, blended with free-will that we cannot comprehend, but we walk in the faith of the unseen power of him. (Hebrews 11:1)

I have been criticized for my openness to share of my struggles, of my battles with anxiety and depression. I have been told of how I need to find the joy in life, told I don’t understand God, or even the opposing view of haughty, thinking I am greater than thou. I have always been an open book since the Lord got ahold of my heart, sharing my journey on every cycle of life, filtered through my faith. My plea on any scale is to point you to your need for Jesus, to shun religion and pursue Jesus Christ daily by your hearts pursuit of him in prayer and his Word. I grew up in religion, rebelled against it, and now see the power Satan has in those that think they are saved by it. So many check Sunday’s box of duty, yet never approach Christ until that hour again next week. So many think religion saves, but it kills, and Jesus made it clear from his mouth. Matthew 9:13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” Simply stated Jesus wants your heart of love, not your acts of religious duty or sacrifices.

This morning as I prayed, I prayed about my brokenness in many ways, which lead me to searching God’s Word on it, which lead to Psalm 51 (read it). I have always related to David, his struggles with great sins, the burden he carried of them, but also his heart for God through his struggles of life. In all that David faced, he sought God. In all David battled, he poured out his heart to God openly through the Psalm writing for us to be blessed by reading of his struggles filtered through his faith too. As I continued to study, it lead me to Matthew, and it lead me to see how God just wanted my heart just as David; of how Jesus said he desired one’s heart of love more than acts of religion. My heart for you, is to give your heart to Him. For the rest of your days this side of heaven, may you filter your life through your faith in Christ, testifying of his grace and mercy he bestowed upon such a sinner as you, and is available to all.