State of the Union

Proverbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.

Yesterday I found myself reflecting some of my last year; I found myself going back into this ministry for a timeline of my life; my memoirs if you will. Almost at the anniversaries of some big events; stepping down as a pastor at Lakehaven, and the injury to my good arm which required surgery. Stepping down out of the pulpit was the hardest decision EVER in my life; I have only talked to one person who truly understood, for they stepped out of the mission field; I saw their pain in tears, and heard the fear in his voice. I have to answer for that decision before God. The surgery broke me financially, stripped me of my most prized possession, and parked me in a chair for two months to think. Returning to work too early to survive monetarily has left me broken again physically; damage to my arm again has me the weakest I have ever been in my life, physically handicapped to a degree; God has taken mighty blows to my pride, my biggest sin. I have seen the struggles of anxiety and depression increase greatly. I have labeled them my “thorn in the flesh” because they torment me, but I know it is because my heart is not of this world.

God knows where you are, knows what you are dealing with, knows the pain or joy you have, knows the struggles and sins, knows the level of love or ignorance you have for Him. There are no secrets from God, he knows the “why” of everything in your life. Psalm 44:21 Would not God search this out? For He knows the secrets of the heart. We in our limited understanding of God, cannot fathom the power and sovereignty he has over us, but we are his creation. If he can breathe a star into existence, how simple the details of our lives must be. You are right where He has designed or allowed you for this moment; there is an indescribable peace in that small glimpse of understanding his sovereignty. Countless times through history people will share their intimacy with God during some of their greatest struggles in life. The Bible is full of such accounts of men and women who have sought God for help during tribulations. During these stressful and or painful times, we seek God wholeheartedly because we don’t know what else to do. We have his bottom, and the only thing we can do is to look up. The Creator of everything uses strains to draw us closer to him. Isaiah 55:8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.

I have days I just want to end it all, I beg for God to make the struggles stop, days I just want to be alone and hide from life, but I know he has a purpose in all of it. All of these tribulations just increase the fire in my bones to share with you what I possess in Him. The fire in my bones to push you to seek Him with all your heart; I know many of you feel it but are denying it because you know the price that comes as a disciple. You would rather be comfortable in religion, and live for the world the other 6.5 days per week. Do you know the scariest verse in the Bible? Matthew 7:21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. I am not afraid to preach the whole Bible; Jesus talked more about Hell than he did Heaven. I did not go into ministry, I do not seek to live my life as a disciple of Jesus Christ to make you like me. I simply desire for you to spend eternity in heaven with me and your Savior, the one who died for you. I have such a fire in my bones to preach repentance to a sinful nation I cannot contain it. The state of our union is a nation that has turned it’s back on God and is beginning to see the judgement of God because of it. The call for the American Christian is to stand for truth, no matter what the cost. The call for the disciple is to lay down their life for the One who gives them life. Will you unite with me in standing for what you say that you believe? God is tugging on your heart…..will you respond?